Why I am Planning on Abortion

Over the past week I've gotten involved in the Twitter storm that started with @antitheistangie live tweeting as she went through an RU486 (or "medical") abortion. The many, many debates and conversations with anti-abortion Twitter users that followed have made me really think about what my own choices would be if I ever got pregnant, and whether no one reads this or lots of people do, I wanted to take some time to spell out my thought process and why abortion is the right choice for me.

I want to start out by saying that the odds of me getting pregnant are pretty damn small. NOT because we're using contraception (we aren't), but because my fiance and I are completely and totally 100% incapable of conceiving children together. As far as I know, I can get pregnant, but it's not going to happen with my fiance and I'm not looking for anything else, now or in the future. So when I say I'm planning on abortion, what I mean is that if something were to happen -- if I was sexually assaulted, or something happened that I can't imagine at this moment -- and I got pregnant, I would be having an abortion. I'm not taking a huge risk every time my fiance and I have sex. I'm not risking pregnancy at all.

That said, here are the reasons why I'll have an abortion if I get pregnant. Not all reasons are as important as others, though I'll try and put the most important ones first.

1. I was diagnosed with Stage 3 melanoma about five years ago, and don't want to have a child, or adopt one, until there's more than the current 60-75% chance I'll be alive to raise them.
2. I suffer from a very severe chronic pain condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, or CRPS (also called by older name Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, or RSD). To control the pain enough that I can work some and get up in the morning, I take several medications not compatible with pregnancy, including anti-seizure meds and opiates. When I'm not on medication, I am in 24/7 unspeakable, 11-on-a-scale-of-1-to-10 pain and I'm not willing to go through that for 9 months plus several more while I breastfeed.
3. My epilepsy is aggravated by hormone levels, and there are signs that being pregnant could make them worse. Epilepsy automatically makes a pregnancy high risk, and seizures while pregnant can kill both mom and fetus.
4. I carry several genetic conditions, with epilepsy the most severe (my brother and I both have it, along with my dad and grandmother). Depression, substance abuse, and autistic spectrum disorders round out the list. With so many kids needing homes waiting to be adopted around the planet, I can't justify bringing a kid into the world with that list of risks.
5. I come from a family with a strong and long history of child sexual abuse. If any component of that comes from genes, I don't want to pass it on if I have a choice. (And I do.)

This isn't a totally complete list, but these are the most important reasons.

Every time I talk to someone about Angie or abortion these last few days, I am reminded of one thing: the circumstances, the reasons, the story around why she had an abortion DOES NOT MATTER. She had a RIGHT to have an abortion, and a RIGHT to talk about it. Justification not required. I am also constantly reminded that the only person anyone is qualified to decide the abortion question for is THEMSELVES. No one of us has the right to push our beliefs or principles on everyone else, especially when it comes to determining how much control a woman has over what goes on in her own body.

Only Angie knows the whole story, and she's the only one who needs to know, because she's the only one who gets to decide for herself.