day one -- before

it's 9:30 a.m. on my first day of treatment. i am set to enter the infusion room at 3:30 this afternoon, and since if i stayed home today i'd spend all day worrying about what's going to happen, i'm at work, pretending to write code and worrying about what's going to happen anyway. but at least i'm somewhat distracted.

my parents are coming with me, both, today, which will be good. i think the company, having people there to support me and help however i need, will be really helpful. they're going to be there, one or the other, every day i have IV treatments, which is five days a week -- monday through friday -- for the next four weeks. after that, i get to give myself the injections at home, three days a week.

i'm good at hiding my emotions, but to be quite honest, i'm terrified. not that anything bad is going to happen during the infusion itself, but of what happens after, when i get sick, and how much it's going to affect my other health issues -- seizures and pain, mostly. i'm afraid of the unknown.

i know that many of my family and friends are probably reading this now, and want to thank you all for your support during this difficult time. i will most likely not be able to take many calls during the coming weeks, though gramma can give you status updates if you would like to call and check on me, but i will be updating here when i am up to it, hopefully daily. i won't be taking visitors until i'm through this first phase, and after that it will depend on how my immune system is affected by treatment and whether i need to stay away from possible illness as much as possible.

thank everyone, again, for your thoughts and prayers as i continue on my journey and fight this disease. i could not do this without your support.